Shane and I decided to wish our little Zay happy birthday by each of us writing him a little letter. He obviously can't read it now, however we hope that one day he will be able to look back on this and know that he is extremely loved. Happy Birthday, Zay! (Warning: Not surprisingly, my husband embarasses me within the first few sentences of his letter!)
Letter from Mommy...
Isaiah James,
I don’t even know where to begin…Zay you are the light of my life and I love you to pieces! Seriously, I never knew I could fall in love with someone besides your daddy so hard, so fast, so deeply! Thank you for bringing such joy into my life and everyone's life you've encountered this year!
Some of the things that I LOVE about you Zay…
...I could give you big squeezy hugs and receive your big wet, slobbery, snotty kisses all day long...love them!
...I absolutely LOVE to hear you squeal and laugh. There just isn’t a better sound in this world and I will go to any length to hear it...trust me - I've danced, sang off key, talked in weird voices, made funny faces...ANYTHING to hear that sweet laugh!
...I love smelling your pretty red hair…even when it’s been smeared with bananas, green beans, and apples.
...Giving you a bath is the highlight of my day – you are so fun!
...When you snuggle your head into my shoulder it gives me all kinds of warm fuzzies!
...And when you cry and try to reach out for me, I absolutely melt. (Even if daddy has to remind us that we both need to be strong and not always give into NEEDING each other for comfort J).
...I love watching you learn! Both good and bad. Even when you give me that sly smile, and know when you are doing something wrong it still brings joy to my heart because you are learning and testing your limits.
...Those thighs of yours...they are just something else! I love them! They are...impressive...and darn cute!
...That FAKE laugh of yours. You really have it mastered! You squeeze your whole body and let out a great laugh - so cute!
...Your curiosity is just like your daddy's, always trying to figure out how things work and problem solve!
...The way you shrug your shoulders and shake your head no. You don't even know what you are doing yet, but you've somehow managed to get this movement perfected!
...I wish I could capture every single expression you have on camera...they are priceless and one of the most talked about things by others that meet you. Your eyebrows can tell a good story!
...Your little feet are so stinkin cute! You are constantly swinging them in your highchair and you are always trying to put your socks and shoes on all by yourself.
...You are a little boy always trying to do big boy things, you make me proud with how you are learning to be independent.
...You are HAPPY! Last night when I picked you up from daycare, I asked Lori how you were doing and she said "He's HAPPY...imagine that, Zay is happy - he always is!"
I could go on and on. I love everything about you, Zay! I pray that as you start your 2nd year of life it will be even better than your first. I am so confident that God has such great plans for you. I believe you will leave your mark on this world and it truly will be a better place since you are here...it already is. Happy Birthday, my sweet, happy Zay! I love you.
-Mommy
Letter from Daddy...
Isaiah,
Today is your birthday, WOW!!!! What an amazing year it has been.
I remember a year ago today very well. I was excited, scared, and anxious to meet you. I should have known what the following year was going to be like when you arrived with a splash (you will understand when you become a father). You are such a blessing I remember the doctors laying you on your mommy’s tummy for just a few seconds before they rushed you away because you weren’t crying. I remember the worry that came over me waiting to hear that cry. Of course you eventually started crying, and I don’t think you really stopped until you were about 12 weeks old. I should rephrase that, you were either crying or smiling. I can’t blame you for crying, because you had a lot going on. This whole first year you have had to fight. Whether it was jaundice, getting poked a dozen times when you were only 5 days old, having your heel pricked for your thyroid draws and your PKU levels, adjusting to your new formula, colic, coughing, spitting up most bottles, more PKU draws, steroids, Staph infection, medicines, MRSA, Having a boil lanced, breathing treatments, x-rays, more steroids, more breathing treatments, more medicine, asthma, and now Ducky (new breathing treatments). I remember counting at one point in time, and I think for the first 4 months of your life, you were seen by a doctor an average of once a week. You won’t remember this first year, but I will. Although I will never forget all of this doctor and medical stuff, What I will remember the most about this year is how you just kept smiling. Zay, I love that smile, I love you.
There is so much I love about you. I could spend hours listing all the things you do that make me smile, but I want to focus on just a few.
1. I love your emotion. I have been around quite a few babies, and I can’t think of one that has more emotion than you. Whether it is giving a kiss, wanting to play, chasing after the dogs, you do it with love. I hope over the next few years your Mom and I can help you grow that love.
2. I love your strength. Zay, as you read above you have been through a lot, but you have an inner strength from God that allows you to keep going. I don’t know how to explain it very well, but you never let anything get you down for very long, and when something is done, you just move on. I don’t know how many lab technicians have said that they were surprised at how little you fuss, even if you don’t give up your blood very easily.
3. I love your eyes. They have so much passion and zest. They are innocent. They have trust and wisdom. I know these statements sound crazy, so let me explain. When you go after something you go with all your energy, and I can see it in your eyes. You have yet to see the horrors this world has, so you trust unconditionally. My hope is that I can keep you from the horrible things this world has, while you grow into a God honoring compassionate man. I know that a baby cannot be wise, but when I look into your eyes I can see God’s love, and that is where wisdom comes from. I can see you learning constantly; I can see a day in the future when you realize that you are different because of your PKU. I can already see you realizing this difference as you gaze at what your mommy and I are eating, I cut up fruit, or I get your bottles ready. Other people are going to say I am crazy for thinking that you already realize that you are different, but I do. Being different is ok though, God has given you a purpose. My prayer is that as you grow up, you keep that passion, zest, innocence, trust, and you become wise in the ways of God.
4. I love how you make your mom happy. I love seeing her turn the corner, see you and light up. Matter of fact, I don’t know a person who doesn’t light up when they are around you.
5. I love the perspective you give me. Zay, I have had a lot of bad times in my life, and I never understood why God was putting me through them. But watching you go through what you have, and realizing what you will have to go through in the future, I see why God had me go through what I did. He did it so you wouldn’t be alone.
I don’t think there has been a year in my life that I have smiled or cried as much as this year. I smile because you are a blessing and a joy to be around. I cry because I love and care about you so much more than I ever thought possible. I am sure you will see me do both a lot as you grow up. Someday in the future when you read this, I hope you can feel just how much you mean to me. Never forget how much your mom and I love you and that God is with you.
-Daddy
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