Hearts at Home

Last weekend I attended a 'mom conference' with the girls from my small group (well technically since we moved, we aren't in a small group anymore {tear!}). I thoroughly enjoyed the conference and it was a great way to start off my 'career' as a stay at home mom!

I thought I would jot down my notes here, so they are all in one location and maybe some other moms would get a little inspiration out of reading them!

Morning Main Session - Jennifer Rothschild

*A little background on Jennifer: Jennifer became blind at the age of 15. She went to college and learned to live independently. She is married and has raised two boys. This gal is truly beautiful - inside and out! She was my favorite speaker of the entire conference. Her perseverance and faith are incredible. If you would like to read more about her you can check out her website here: www.jenniferrothschild.com. Notes from her session...

• "Blind" is such as STRONG word, it carries so much weight with it. It's like divorce or cancer. You don't put a lot of weight on these words until it hits you personally, and you think "I can't believe that's my word!". This was a huge realization for me...thinking "PKU" is our family's word.
• It doesn't have to be well with your circumstances to be well with your soul!
• Allow your child to face their fears, by this they will be able to see God grace and the power of their faith.
• Because God gave me the burden of (fill in the blank), he also gave me the grace to carry that burden.
• When your child is going through something difficult or has a special circumstance/disorder, remember that God has given them "participant grace". It is just enough grace to allow them to get through it. What you as a parent has is "spectator grace", which is just enough grace to allow you to watch what is happening. And most importantly, don't assume that the sorrow you carry is the same weight they carry...God's grace is sufficient!!! (This really hit home with me! Mothering a child with PKU and seeing how unfair everything seems is extremely difficult at times. This was so freeing for me to hear...that Zay doesn't necessarily feel what I feel as his mother! And God's grace will get us both through!)

Workshop #1 - Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home)

*Ten Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs:

When you are stressed you are emotionally unavailable to your family.

1. Take a day off - refuel and be intentional.
2. Increase margin (aka white space in your life) - protect the downtime.
3. Learn to say "no" - learn to handle adult pear pressure and don't compare yourself to others. YOU alone know what is best for you and your family. NEVER say yes on the spot. REMEMBER, I am capable, but am I called?
4. Take care of your body - rest, nutrition, exercise!
5. Expect interruptions - if you expect them, they won't upset you as much!
6. Proactively refuel - what is your fuel? (connecting with friends, running, being alone, relaxing, shopping) A great idea for this - The first 30 minutes after Daddy gets home from work, mommy takes some "me time".
7. Choose the important over the urgent. In most cases the important=people and the urgent=tasks. Example: you are reading your child a book and your phone rings...do you run to get your phone? In most cases the phone call can WAIT until you have finished with your child...they are IMPORTANT!
8. Step away (sometimes we need a breather!)
9. Ask for help - AND use words to do so. Our family cannot guess what we need help with and don't wait until you are boiling over to SCREAM for help!
10. Talk to Jesus - last, but most important!

Workshop #2 - Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home)

*First Time Moms

• Lower the expectations - don't compare your insides to other mom's outsides. (basically you can't judge a book by it's cover)
• Allow more time to accomplish ANYTHING - don't just create a "to do" list, instead create a "got done" list as well. It's important to know that you accomplished things throughout your day...and good things at that (reading a book to your child, laundry, changing diapers, dinner, etc) And, ALWAYS double your prep time!
• Enjoy this "never to be returned to you" season!
• Capture memories!
• Listen to you child with your eyes - focus on what they are saying to you, don't multitask as much and give them your FULL attention. (Same goes for your husband!)
• Consider motherhood a career.
• Trust yourself.
• Take care of yourself - self care is NOT selfish!
• Cut yourself some slack.
• Get out once a week. (time for yourself)
• Find a mom's group.
• Stop the comparisons.
• Be intentional - set goals for yourself and your kids.
• Keep your marriage a priority - wife 1st, mother 2nd.
• Have a daily date with your husband. 15 minutes every day for the two of you...BEFORE the kids go to bed. Allow you kids to see that your relationship is important and to be respected. (Questions to ask: How was your day? What is your agenda for this evening?)
• Ask for help. Accept help. - Don't EVER let someone else be denied from serving God and his people!
• Be the parent.
• Connect your real mom experiences with the real Jesus.
• Schedule sex - sound silly, but can keep both happy.
• Be a "there you are person", not a "here I am person". Initiate!
• Weekly or bi-weekly dates - put them on the calendar and they don't have to cost anything!
• Annual getaway! Anniversary celebration or other time.

Workshop #3 - Yvette Maher

*Get R.E.A.L. in Your Marriage

• Remember the triangle: In order to move closer to your spouse you must move closer to God.
• Do you want to BE right more than you want to DO right?
• Obedience proceeds emotion.
• 10 ways to protect your marriage:

1. Prayer
2. Communication
3. Identify expectations - real vs. unreal
4. Manage your emotions
5. List your "manna" - thankful for your husband
6. Own your part
7. Learn to relinquish
8. Keep molehills in their proper size
9. Discover each others contributions
10. Cover everything in prayer

Workshop #4 - Tammy Maltby

*Lifegiving Hospitality...Start Simply but Simply Start

• Being hospitable is giving a message to someone about their value to you!
• Your home and food are tools God has given you for hospitality!
• People my never remember if you had an immaculate house, but they will never forget how you made them feel!
• Hospitality is about connecting!
• Understand the value of fellowship!
• To be a good host, be who you are.
• Remember to serve your family first.
• Practice, practice, practice!
• Don't compare!
• B.U.S.Y. = Being Under Satan's Yolk
• Do not apologize for your house - it is what it is...when you focus on the mess, you aren't focusing on the people!
• Choose to love people.
• Plan ahead, so you can be spontaneous.
• If you can't bring people into your home, find other ways to reach out and give to God's people!

Afternoon Main Session - Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home)

• Song - My Anchor Holds
• Love is a choice, not a feeling; Love is a verb; Love is transforming; Love is counter-intuitive; Love is unconditional!
• When your child spills milk, he does not need a lecture - he needs a rag! Show your children it is OK to make mistakes.
• We can change the heritage of our children and our grandchildren - remember that!