Day 40 - 40 Days of Blogging

Well - I made it...40 blog posts! Might not have been EACH and EVERY day, but I got 'er done! And I'm really excited because it was a GREAT challenge for me! And a great reminder why I take the time to do this blog-thing! It's such a great way to keep track of our memories. I've had so many people tell me that they have gone back to some of our older blog posts and read about our journey...and I have too! It's so fun to have this journal to see where we were 4 or 5 years ago, compared to where we are today! And there is no doubt that it's only by God's doing!

Sitting in church today, I was actually brought to tears thinking about how amazing this day is. Resurrection day...Jesus is ALIVE and he's ALIVE in my life! I'm so blessed to know Jesus and to know what Jesus did for me and for my husband and my children...and for YOU! Thinking about what Jesus did on the cross for ME, I can get pretty emotional and pretty pumped up at the same time. He loves ME that much. God loves ME that much. Thank you - thank you, Jesus!

Happy Easter from our family to yours! :)

Day 1 - 40 Days of Blogging

Hide and Seek.

Some days Zay will beg me to play hide-and-seek. And seriously...this might be my least favorite game. It simply expels a lot of energy...that well, I need to save for laundry if I plan to ever attack the mountain at the end of my bed. But all-in-all, I have learned the great art of hollering 'I wonder where Zay could be!' in a great curiosity-infused tone! I do this while walking into every room pretending to look in every nook and cranny, turning around in circles, because you know he can definitely see me from two rooms down, so I want to make certain my acting is legit. All the while, I can hear where the soft giggles are coming from and I know with almost guaranteed certainty that he is in his normal hiding spot...mom and dad's bed! And even though I really don't enjoy going through the motions of hide-and-seek I can anticipate the the huge smile it will bring to MY face when I discover him...sitting patiently on our bed. And he can't stop from hiding his heartfelt thankfulness that I am playing his game. 

I often wonder...do we sometimes think that we are 'fooling' God while we are busy having fun, giggling our way through life? Like He doesn't know exactly where we are at? What our hearts are feeling? Do we think that we can really 'hide' from him? And when He finds us and brings us close...I can just imagine a great big smile on His face. And me...why yes, I am most definitely filled with thankfulness for God to once again reveal that in this life He is seeking me. He is finding me even in my silly games of hiding from Him. Amen to that. 

Blessed. We are.

I've been a mom for approximately 27 months to a little boy with carrot-colored hair and the heartiest personality to ever come out of a 36+ inches. In just over two years he has not only grown to be at least half the height of his mother, but he has discovered  a great happiness in life that God refills him up with each new day. We won't mention the "rarely-sited-in-public-but-always-seems-to-come-out-at-home" two year old tantrums. They are present now and then too.

I have uncovered a simplistic delight in watching Zay acquire knowledge throughout his days. I'm finding that I cannot insert Zay's learning abilities into a neat and tidy little box. Shane and I have always joked that those "what to expect the first years" books are not written for our family. All we can predictably expect is that our Zay is going to do things his way and in his time. And that is precisely who God made him to be. Not just our son, but His son. I think God uses Zay to consistently fill a role as a perspective changer for me. Teaching me that normal can be the uncommon. What's presumed can turn into the unexpected. And what we experience in life can leave us humbled, but appreciative.

I tend to hold on to these truths when I let my mind worry and wander to "is Zay on track", is he doing, saying, and acting the way people assume a two year and 3 month old would? Ah, the unnecessary anguish this can cause a momma! 

Just when I start to get concerned, Zay yanks me back to the real world and amazes me with what he perfectly and positively comprehends! I'm fully aware that Zay is behind in speech. I'm also thankful that two different speech pathologists are not concerned with his delay. It is believed that Zay is going to take off when he is ready. I agree. 

About a month ago, we were sitting at the dinner table when Shane started quizzing Zay on his letters. To both of our amazement - Zay started spouting off the phonetic sounds to at least half the alphabet! Try to get him to say the actual letter name - not going to happen. 

I know this is not how most kiddos learn their ABC's...but I'm thrilled this is how Zay is learning. In his own unique way, he is gathering the knowledge in that little brain and slowly we are hearing all that he's attained. What a joy to recognize the beauty in uncommon, individual ways of achieving education. 

Blessed. We are.

Memory Verses for Kids

I found a great website for helping kids (and mom) memorize scripture. Here are the ones we are going to start with!

Easy Bible Memory Verses For Kids

§ Proverbs 30:5 Every word of God proves true.

§ Matthew 6:24 – No one can serve two masters.

§ Deuteronomy 6:5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

§ Matthew 22:39 You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

§ 1 Corinthians 10:31 – Whatever you do, do everything for the glory of God.

§ Psalm 19:1 – The heavens declare the glory of God.

§ Genesis 1:1 In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth.

§ Psalm 139:14 – I praise you God, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

§ Isaiah 43:5 Do not be afraid for I am with you.

§ Psalm 1:6 – The LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.

§ Proverbs 14:5 A honest wittiness does not lie, a false witness breaths lies

§ Genesis 16:13 You are the God who sees.

§ Numbers 6:24 The Lord bless you and keep you

§ Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

§ Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly

§ 1 John 5:3 This is love for God: to obey his commands

§ Ephesians 4:30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit

§ Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever.

§ Psalm 150:6 Let everything that has breath praise the Lord.

§ Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart.

§ Romans 10:13 Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

§ Romans 3:23 All people have sinned and come short of the glory of God.

§ Matthew 5:14 You are the light of the world.

§ Psalm 145:9 The Lord is good to all.

§ Colossians 3:20 Children, obey your parents in all things.

§ James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above.

§ Matthew 28:20 I am with you always.

§ Act 16:31 Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved.

§ Ephesians 4:32 Be kind to one another.

§ 1John 3:23 Love one another.

§ Psalm 56:3 What time I am afraid, I will trust in You.

§ Psalm 118:24 This is the day the Lord has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it.

§ Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.

§ Psalm 136:1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good. His love endures forever.

§ Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.

§ Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.

§ Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!

§ Psalm 138:1 “I will praise thee with my whole heart”

§ John 10:11 I am the good shepherd.

§ Ephesians 6:1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

(Source)

Breath of Heaven

I've been listening to my Amy Grant Christmas CD like it's my job! Mainly because it has one of my all time favorite songs on there..."Breath of Heaven" (And probably has something to do with the fact that we haven't had a TV in our living room since we've moved...house is a little quiet without a little music at least!)

Anyway, having had Zay during the Christmas season 2 years ago (yes...TWO years ago...I can hardly believe it!) I will never forget my first Christmas Eve, holding my tiny newborn, only 8 days old and in complete awe of Mary, Jesus's mom.

This song describes so many raw emotions that stirred in my heart two Christmases ago, and almost each and every day since.

Almost daily, I think about God specifically choosing ME to be Isaiah's mommy.

Quite frankly, most of the time this job scares the bajeepers out of me!

Isaiah is a precious little child of God, who has been entrusted to Shane and I to raise him to know and love the Lord, AND, to do so among all the challenges set before us and Zay.

Wow.

This "load" to bear can certainly frighten me on my best days!

The littlest things like - feeding Zay can be so overwhelming to me. I certainly understand his diet by now, but still feel so lost when it comes to knowing how and when to be concerned with nutrition. A lot of Zay's "low protein" foods are highly processed. He eats a lot of fruits and veggies, should I be buying organic? Do I need to need to plant my own garden to teach Zay where his food comes from? And most of all I'm vividly aware that I need to change a lot of my own eating habits to set a correct example for Zay taking care of his body.

Then there is discipline. Any parent of a little 2 year old boy understands that there NEEDS to be some sort of strategy for disciplining, because they will push the boundaries! What's the correct method? How do we show grace, but yet have Zay understand consequences?

How about values, character, morals? Will Zay simply absorb the values Shane and I present everyday and never question why we act the way we do. And are WE presenting the correct character traits in the correct ways that Zay will be able to understand and imitate them correctly?

Then comes the speech challenge. Oh man, this one lays heavy on my heart these days. I've cried out to God many a time...why do we have to have this challenge too? Haven't we gone through enough with Zay in his short two years? Hasn't HE been though enough challenges? Why must something as simple a speaking be so hard for him?

What about the school we choose or not choose, the doctors we take him to, the family/friends we reach out to or don't reach out to, the experiences we allow him to have or prevent him from having, the things we do or don't say in front of him...in my naive little eyes there are SO many ways for me to screw this parenting thing up...

Then I think of Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I find great comfort in this truth!

I still have moments that lead me to question myself, but I KNOW that I'm raising a son of God and HE is guiding my decisions!

I pray: Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long! Psalm 25:4-5.

Lord, "I offer all I am, for the mercy of your plan!"

Breath of Heaven

I have traveled many moonless nights,

Cold and weary with a babe inside,

And I wonder what I've done.

Holy father you have come,

And chosen me now to carry your son.

I am waiting in a silent prayer.

I am frightened by the load I bear.

In a world as cold as stone,

Must I walk this path alone?

Be with me now.

Be with me now.

Breath of heaven,

Hold me together,

Be forever near me,

Breath of heaven.

Breath of heaven,

Lighten my darkness,

Pour over me your holiness,

For you are holy.

Breath of heaven.

Do you wonder as you watch my face,

If a wiser one should have had my place,

But I offer all I am

For the mercy of your plan.

Help me be strong.

Help me be.

Help me.

Breath of heaven,

Hold me together,

Be forever near me,

Breath of heaven.

Breath of heaven,

Lighten my darkness,

Pour over me your holiness,

For you are holy.

Breath of heaven,

Hold me together,

Be forever near me,

Breath of heaven.

Breath of heaven,

Lighten my darkness,

Pour over me your holiness,

For you are holy.

Breath of heaven.

Breath of heaven.

Breath of heaven

Hearts at Home

Last weekend I attended a 'mom conference' with the girls from my small group (well technically since we moved, we aren't in a small group anymore {tear!}). I thoroughly enjoyed the conference and it was a great way to start off my 'career' as a stay at home mom!

I thought I would jot down my notes here, so they are all in one location and maybe some other moms would get a little inspiration out of reading them!

Morning Main Session - Jennifer Rothschild

*A little background on Jennifer: Jennifer became blind at the age of 15. She went to college and learned to live independently. She is married and has raised two boys. This gal is truly beautiful - inside and out! She was my favorite speaker of the entire conference. Her perseverance and faith are incredible. If you would like to read more about her you can check out her website here: www.jenniferrothschild.com. Notes from her session...

• "Blind" is such as STRONG word, it carries so much weight with it. It's like divorce or cancer. You don't put a lot of weight on these words until it hits you personally, and you think "I can't believe that's my word!". This was a huge realization for me...thinking "PKU" is our family's word.
• It doesn't have to be well with your circumstances to be well with your soul!
• Allow your child to face their fears, by this they will be able to see God grace and the power of their faith.
• Because God gave me the burden of (fill in the blank), he also gave me the grace to carry that burden.
• When your child is going through something difficult or has a special circumstance/disorder, remember that God has given them "participant grace". It is just enough grace to allow them to get through it. What you as a parent has is "spectator grace", which is just enough grace to allow you to watch what is happening. And most importantly, don't assume that the sorrow you carry is the same weight they carry...God's grace is sufficient!!! (This really hit home with me! Mothering a child with PKU and seeing how unfair everything seems is extremely difficult at times. This was so freeing for me to hear...that Zay doesn't necessarily feel what I feel as his mother! And God's grace will get us both through!)

Workshop #1 - Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home)

*Ten Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs:

When you are stressed you are emotionally unavailable to your family.

1. Take a day off - refuel and be intentional.
2. Increase margin (aka white space in your life) - protect the downtime.
3. Learn to say "no" - learn to handle adult pear pressure and don't compare yourself to others. YOU alone know what is best for you and your family. NEVER say yes on the spot. REMEMBER, I am capable, but am I called?
4. Take care of your body - rest, nutrition, exercise!
5. Expect interruptions - if you expect them, they won't upset you as much!
6. Proactively refuel - what is your fuel? (connecting with friends, running, being alone, relaxing, shopping) A great idea for this - The first 30 minutes after Daddy gets home from work, mommy takes some "me time".
7. Choose the important over the urgent. In most cases the important=people and the urgent=tasks. Example: you are reading your child a book and your phone rings...do you run to get your phone? In most cases the phone call can WAIT until you have finished with your child...they are IMPORTANT!
8. Step away (sometimes we need a breather!)
9. Ask for help - AND use words to do so. Our family cannot guess what we need help with and don't wait until you are boiling over to SCREAM for help!
10. Talk to Jesus - last, but most important!

Workshop #2 - Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home)

*First Time Moms

• Lower the expectations - don't compare your insides to other mom's outsides. (basically you can't judge a book by it's cover)
• Allow more time to accomplish ANYTHING - don't just create a "to do" list, instead create a "got done" list as well. It's important to know that you accomplished things throughout your day...and good things at that (reading a book to your child, laundry, changing diapers, dinner, etc) And, ALWAYS double your prep time!
• Enjoy this "never to be returned to you" season!
• Capture memories!
• Listen to you child with your eyes - focus on what they are saying to you, don't multitask as much and give them your FULL attention. (Same goes for your husband!)
• Consider motherhood a career.
• Trust yourself.
• Take care of yourself - self care is NOT selfish!
• Cut yourself some slack.
• Get out once a week. (time for yourself)
• Find a mom's group.
• Stop the comparisons.
• Be intentional - set goals for yourself and your kids.
• Keep your marriage a priority - wife 1st, mother 2nd.
• Have a daily date with your husband. 15 minutes every day for the two of you...BEFORE the kids go to bed. Allow you kids to see that your relationship is important and to be respected. (Questions to ask: How was your day? What is your agenda for this evening?)
• Ask for help. Accept help. - Don't EVER let someone else be denied from serving God and his people!
• Be the parent.
• Connect your real mom experiences with the real Jesus.
• Schedule sex - sound silly, but can keep both happy.
• Be a "there you are person", not a "here I am person". Initiate!
• Weekly or bi-weekly dates - put them on the calendar and they don't have to cost anything!
• Annual getaway! Anniversary celebration or other time.

Workshop #3 - Yvette Maher

*Get R.E.A.L. in Your Marriage

• Remember the triangle: In order to move closer to your spouse you must move closer to God.
• Do you want to BE right more than you want to DO right?
• Obedience proceeds emotion.
• 10 ways to protect your marriage:

1. Prayer
2. Communication
3. Identify expectations - real vs. unreal
4. Manage your emotions
5. List your "manna" - thankful for your husband
6. Own your part
7. Learn to relinquish
8. Keep molehills in their proper size
9. Discover each others contributions
10. Cover everything in prayer

Workshop #4 - Tammy Maltby

*Lifegiving Hospitality...Start Simply but Simply Start

• Being hospitable is giving a message to someone about their value to you!
• Your home and food are tools God has given you for hospitality!
• People my never remember if you had an immaculate house, but they will never forget how you made them feel!
• Hospitality is about connecting!
• Understand the value of fellowship!
• To be a good host, be who you are.
• Remember to serve your family first.
• Practice, practice, practice!
• Don't compare!
• B.U.S.Y. = Being Under Satan's Yolk
• Do not apologize for your house - it is what it is...when you focus on the mess, you aren't focusing on the people!
• Choose to love people.
• Plan ahead, so you can be spontaneous.
• If you can't bring people into your home, find other ways to reach out and give to God's people!

Afternoon Main Session - Jill Savage (founder of Hearts at Home)

• Song - My Anchor Holds
• Love is a choice, not a feeling; Love is a verb; Love is transforming; Love is counter-intuitive; Love is unconditional!
• When your child spills milk, he does not need a lecture - he needs a rag! Show your children it is OK to make mistakes.
• We can change the heritage of our children and our grandchildren - remember that!

Prayers for a stranger…

I’m all shook up. And I don’t mean in the kind of Elvis singing shook up way. I mean in the kind of way that I just witnessed a man laying on the ground minutes after he took a jump from the 3rd tier of a parking ramp in an attempt to commit suicide.

It’s funny how to some this will be just another news day in Waterloo. But today will undoubtedly influence me for some time to come. I observed so much in 15 minutes that it is hard for me to even put it into words.

I mostly learned about people.

I learned that there are people that will run to the nearest business to get help for an unaided man laying helplessly on a sidewalk.

I also learned that there can be a half a dozen people that will walk right past a debilitated man laying on the sidewalk, as if he weren't even there.

I learned that there are people that have the comprehension to call 911 in an emergency and stay calm and collected while providing whatever information they can discern.

I also learned that there are some people that will watch from the sidelines, unable to fully absorb the situation.

I learned there are people that will hold the hand of a stranger while he is hurting, helpless, and alone.

I also learned that there are people who won't come within an arms reach of a person in severe pain and who appears to have life issues.

I learned that there are people who will be overcome with emotion when moments of tragedy strike and chaos begins.

And I learned that there are people in this world who may not have the hope that I have in Jesus. People are desperate. People are fragile. People are helpless. People are in pain. And people are alone.

The entire situation made me think...next time I am walking by someone on the street – maybe all they need is a smile and maybe I can say just a little prayer for that person. Because you never know where they are at. They could be standing on the edge, ready to jump and you could be the difference for them...

Please pray for my stranger-friend.

Both come from God

My blogging has lacked consistency lately. Life has been a little extreme for Shane, Zay and I.

There are so many things that I want to write down and ‘get off my chest’, hoping that it will help me breathe. Thoughts that would even be therapeutic to have them down on paper and not just in my head. However, sometimes the dealings in our life are just too intimate for me to share with the entire world.

Too emotional, too fresh and too sensitive to put out there for the world to size up and determine if we’ve accurately handled each situation correctly. Circumstances that leave me exhausted are looming over my spirit. My optimism has been tested to its limit. And it has failed me.

I have seen firsthand the power of God. Power that has led our life to be twisted, turned and torn into a tailspin over the past couple weeks. A hurricane of events that leaves me wondering where to start picking up the pieces.

I have also seen the influence of Satin. Negative thinking beyond what I can bare at times.

Being led back to God after questioning Him, and why so many unfortunate circumstances can happen in such a short amount of time, is humbling. I don’t sense that we are through the storm yet, but we are getting there. And because God has provided me with a strong foundation of faith, I know I will see the beautiful sunshine again and appreciate it all the more having been through the storm.

Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life.
-Ecclesiastes 7:14

Prayers for Patrick

Have you ever listened to the words of Laura Story's song Blessings?

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

I heard this song on the radio today, and it hit me. Mainly because of Shane's day at work yesterday.

Shane ate breakfast with his coworker, Patrick, before they began to participate in a company celebration day. This was a day to play games, win prizes, and connect with coworkers.

Shane and Patrick talked football, and discussed his kid's first day of school - all of them elementary aged. They also talked about how Patrick had been notified he would be losing his job soon. He was on the hunt for a new position, either at Pearson or elsewhere. Basically a normal conversation you would have during breakfast.

A couple hours later after one of the activities, Shane was running to get water because the man he had just had a conversation with was having some sort of attack, probably a heart attack.

He passed away not long afterwards.

Shane ended up working late last night to finish up a project. He told me, when he walked to his car he thought it was odd because he was the last to leave the building, but there was two cars in the parking lot.

Shane assumed it was Patrick's, but found out later that it wasn't.

Regardless, Patrick wouldn't be driving home to see his wife. Or to ask his kids how their first day of school was.

Shane called me at work to tell me about this. I haven't stopped thinking and praying for his his family since. I cannot image being the wife that gets a phone call like that. I'm sure Patrick's wife can't imagine it either.

If you have a second today, please send up a prayer for Patrick's family.

1Peter 1:6-7

I knew the day would come.

Remember a few weeks ago when I was singing praises on how well Zay takes his thyroid medicine? I knew he would one day come to realize that chewing up a dry, chalky-tasting pill isn’t as exhilarating as he once thought.

It happened one day, earlier this week. I decided to handle the situation with a clever little approach…something called DISTRACTION. Toddlers are an easy target for this! Get them excited and entertained and then sneakily make your move! And what do you know - it worked! Phew! However, right after I won the first victory, I was already dreading the next day. Because if you know my boy, you know he might let you fool him once….but he’s quick. He WILL find you out. There is no tip-toeing around him!

So the following day. I grab his little pill, I start to approach him and as I do he plops his little bottom onto the floor, tosses his head back onto the carpet and throws an all-out tantrum. I simply walk away, while holding my composure. I was tempted to laugh at the response I got from him when I was just thinking about giving him his pill. "Pardon me, for not serving it to you on a gold platter, Isaiah James Austerman..."

About 30 minutes later, I attempt the pill-taking process again. Only this time I’m feeling much more confident and convinced that we WILL get the job done…tantrum or not.

Once again, Zay greets me with a firm headshake (no) and a frown. I calmly kneel down beside him, look into his sad little eyes and try to explain (in one-year old terms) how he needs to take his medicine because it will keep him healthy. Then I tell him that he needs to either take his medicine or he will have to stand in timeout. (I’m feeling incredibly guilty as I make this ultimatum…for goodness sakes, most kids get in trouble for not trying their broccoli at the dinner table – not exactly the same level of necessity…) Nevertheless, I had resolved that this was simply a non-negotiable situation in Zay’s life. Fair or not, it is just how it is. And because of that, he needs to obey.

So, off to the corner we go. And that’s where we stayed. For over 10 minutes! (that’s a long time in a one-year old’s life! Zay normally gets the point of timeout in about 30 seconds!) And the funniest part…Zay didn’t even fight me on staying in the corner. About every minute that passed, I would kneel down and ask him if he was ready to take his medicine. He would shake his head no, and I would tell him to turn around and face the wall. And he would follow my directions perfectly. Standing there, picking his little fingers on the wall’s surface, just waiting for me to ask him to turn around and look at me again.

I have to admit, I was heartbroken to have to punish Zay for not taking his medicine. But I just didn’t have the right answer on how to make him understand the importance of this little pill. Eventually, Zay came around. He let me pop the pill in his mouth and with a frown that took over his entire face, he ate the pill, quickly followed by a swig of his milk.

After the whole episode was over, I couldn’t help but reflect on the situation in a slightly different light. How often does God stare into my sad little eyes, and tries to explain to me in the simplest terms how important it is that I do some of the things I don’t want to do. That sometimes I have to chew a pill that leaves a bad taste in my mouth for the short term, but leaves me healthy and strong for the future He has planned for me.

As we wait for our house to sell, I’m anxious and exhausted from the daily toll of our long days. And I can just imagine God looking into my sad eyes, knowing that all I want is to not have to go through another long day of being away from my little boy, and serving my family at home. However, I know enough to know, that although I cannot understand why, I know that He is with us in this time of waiting. He is faithful. And He is letting me taste a little bit of that chalky pill, because it will make me stronger and more ready to serve Him in the future. I hope that Zay will always understand that, life isn’t always fair, but it is always good for those who trust in Him!

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. -1Peter 1:6-7

BIG News!

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
-Proverbs 16:9

Guess….what….

We are MOVING!

Not just to a new house across town, but to an entirely new town more than hour away from here!

Allow me to explain…

Some of you know a little bit about how our lives were turned upside down last August…

Shane’s employer announced last fall that they would be closing their office in Waterloo. We were told we would have an option to move to Oak Creek, WI, otherwise Shane would not have a job. This sent us into a spiral of emotions.

Thankfully, a small, select group of people were allowed to keep their jobs in Waterloo…Shane being one of them! Praise the Lord!

When all of this happened, we were on a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions! I was in shock and had pretty much dug my feet in the ground and told Shane I couldn’t move to Wisconsin.

After we found out we could stay in Waterloo, God definitely began to work on me. Shane and I really believe that he had used the “scare” of having to move to open our eyes to his plans for us.

As the months went on, Shane felt as though he should probably keep his eyes open for a new job. The job security of his current job really wasn’t something we could count on.

Shane found a couple job options, but nothing that was panning out perfectly here in the Cedar Valley. He and I decided that we would be open to him looking outside the Cedar Valley. We thought about Des Moines, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Chicago was even a (small) option!

I was a little stressed about the thought of moving to a bigger city, but also knew that at some point we could be in the same position we were in last August…desperate for a job, without the luxury of time to find one. The thought of finding all new doctors for Zay was overwhelming to me as well. We LOVE our doctors in Iowa City, and they’ve known Zay since he was born. Not generally something that is taken into consideration while job searching, however this was a big factor for us.

Then a couple months ago a recruiter contacted Shane. Up until this point Shane hadn’t been working with a recruiter. Like I said before, we weren’t necessarily desperate for him to find a new job, we just wanted to keep our options open and were ready to jump when the opportunity presented itself.

The recruiter worked for Pearson Education in Iowa City.

Shane went through the whole process…phone interview, in-person interview, intelligence test, references, negotiating, and finally ACCEPTED a position at Pearson!

What this all means? We will be eventually moving to the Iowa City area. And Zay and I will be transitioning into spending everyday together! I think I’ll save a whole other blogpost just on my feelings about becoming a stay at home mom! Words can’t begin to describe my excitement, as well as my fears about this new role!

Overall, this is a VERY bittersweet announcement for us.

I’m trying VERY hard to focus mainly on the excitement of this new chapter in our lives, but with moving comes a lot of sadness. The Cedar Valley has been our home for over 9 years. This is where we both went to college. Where we met. Where we bought our first house. Where we had our first baby. Not to mention, we have so many friends here! We have a fantastic church here. We have the most amazing small group here. We have an incredible babysitter right down the street. We have neighbors, families, coworkers, committee members, basketball and volleyball teams, even just acquaintances that we are going to miss so much, it brings me to tears just thinking about saying goodbye. There are SO many things we are going to miss about the Cedar Valley.

With all that being said, we feel incredibly blessed. God has definitely led us through this important decision. He has completely blessed us with the location we are moving to. And one of the biggest reliefs…we don’t have to change doctors!

Now, for the next step…we will be preparing our house to sell! We have a few projects we’d like to complete before we put it on the market, but we are praying for the perfect buyer. I love this house and we have so many memories here. I hope that someone else will come and see our home as a place to make their family’s memories too.

Bittersweet thoughts to say the least.

In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
-Proverbs 16:9

Heaven is For Real

After hearing a ton of people talk about how great this book is, I read it last week/weekend. One of my coworkers let me borrow her copy.

I have to say, it didn't disappoint! The book had me in tears, it had me laughing, and really just had me in awe!

The beginning of this book brought up some old emotions from when Zay was born. The little boy in the book, Colton, has an undiagnosed appendix, which takes doctors 5 days to discover. I vividly remember hearing about one thing after another of things wrong with Zay, and really not feeling like anyone could get a handle on what what going on with our baby. I think this is where I cried the most during the book!

This book is unique in the fact that there are multiple topics that can relate to many different people. Some people have had a miscarriage and it still causes them a great deal of sadness. Some people have lost a father, mother, grandpa, grandma, etc and still feel very much sorrowful. Some people get angry with God when they can't understand what's happening in their life or their child's life. Some people wonder about Heaven and what it will look like. Some people wonder if everyone goes to Heaven. Some people wonder what Hell is like and who is there. Some people wonder if their dogs go to heaven. Some people wonder if Heaven is for real...

Lots of questions. And I'm not claiming this book has all the answers. But it is an interesting perspective and who knows...Colton Burpo could be accurate about what Heaven looks like, who is there, and what is happening there. I just know that he was an encouragement to me to remember that this life is only temporary. There is still so much more to come - and I want to be living in a way that, Lord willing, ensures I get to Heaven!

I'm grateful for this book, because it has led to conversations about important things with important people. People I might not have had these conversations with, had there not been this book.

Also, I'm grateful because sometimes we need a little perspective in life, and this book definitely gave me that! It allowed me to open my eyes to the (more) important things and focus on them. It also made me realize that all the pain I felt when Zay was first being diagnosed and the first months of his life...minuscule compared to the pain God went through when He sent His son to die for us. I can't even imagine...

Praise God that Heaven is For Real! :)