So...some thoughts on disciplining our children...
James 1:20 says: For a man's anger does not produce the righteous life that God desires.
1. Think about when you get angry with your kids - can you identify the true source of your anger? Usually our anger is triggered by our own agenda or schedule being interrupted...
2. Sometimes our anger is rooted by our lack of faith...little whispers of discouragement. (ie: this child will never listen and obey the first time I ask, is he EVER going to pick up his toys, why do I have to fight with him to brush his teeth, etc)
3. God isn't getting stressed out by our kids not obeying the first time we ask...therefore should we be all up in arms about it? Rather consider it an opportunity for us to grow in faith...trust that God will help us have grace, patience, and a loving attitude to parent our child.
4. Think outside of being a mom! It's important for us to have perspective on things other than just mothering our children.
5. Your job is not to make your kids happy! Your job is to train (love) them and when they are trained, they will be happy!
6. Don't nag your kids to stop doing something - just hand out the consequence! They will learn that you are in charge and they need to obey.
7. Make sure the consequence is a whole lot worse than the crime - if it's not harsh enough, they won't care.
8. Think of natural consequences - make it hurt a little. (ie: if a child fights you to put on their coat before they go outside, maybe let the go outside without their coat on...they will surely be cold, but will have to wait until it is convenient for you to put their coat on for them. Most kids aren't going to be endangered by a little cold for a short time)
9. When God disciplines us, he isn't mad at us, he loves us and is showing us He is in charge and wants what is best for us. Our kids need to know the same.
10. Where is your faith? Do you believe the better mom you are, the better kids you will produce? Or do you believe that God is in control? Don't fall for the lie that YOU are the 'be all' and 'end all' of your children's outcome. Put it in God's hands and ask Him for guidance! (highlighted because this was my favorite take away from the discussion today...so often I try so hard to be the BEST mom I can so that my child will 'turn out' ok...I'm realizing I need to put my trust in God. He's guiding me and showing me how to raise HIS child!)
11. Get the word of God in your children's head...it will naturally sink in! (This can't happen unless it is in your head as well!)
Some key verses:
Hebrews 11:6 And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him
1 Peter 4:12 Dear friends, do no be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you.
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of you faith develops perseverance.
Hebrews 12:11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Galatians 5:6b The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 10:17 Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.
2 comments:
Very good post! Thanks for sharing, definitely an encouragement!
This is so great, Jackee! I'll definitely be referring back to these points in my own parenting. Truth brings peace!
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